For a brief moment…
As I watch you from across the room
Glistening in all your splendor
I wonder if you’re really with me.
If I am really here
If any of this is real
If it has ever been real
If I am awake or dreaming
Or better still; if I am ever truly awake.
We spend our days and nights
Living, loving, laughing together
Lost in each other.
But sometimes I feel like I have never seen you
Like you are hidden
Right there, besides me each day; but hidden.
Like I only see glimpses of you
When the clouds clear.
Clouds of my thoughts
Of my anxieties
Of my unfulfilled dreams
Of my unrealistic fantasies
Of my past regrets
Of my worries for the future.
And as these clouds grow denser and darker
The world around me blurs
Your presence diminishes
Days lose meaning
Weeks go by in a blink
Memories that we built together — Lost
Never to be found again
I walk around in this haze for years
Unsettled and groggy
Present but distant
Alive but dead
Awake but in a slumber
Right besides you; but miles away.
And then for a brief moment
The clouds cleared from the sky
And I saw you…
And in that moment, there was no doubt
I was wide awake
I was there
And so were you.
I looked through your eyes and it was as if all filters were gone
And I could see you…for the very first time.
In all your beauty
For all your simplicity
For all the things that stirred inside you and made you beat
Beyond all the trappings that we create for ourselves
I saw you.
For a brief moment, all thoughts and feelings escaped
No sadness; No joy
No expectation; No judgement
No longing; No ache for something missing
No idea of perfection; No concept of beauty
Just you...and me.
It was as if the universe paused for a brief moment and allowed us to dance
Dance to the beat of the moment
The rhythm of life
To fly with no wings
To float with no buoys.
But just as all good things do, the moment too ceased
I tried to grasp it in my palms
Holding onto it in quiet desperation
But it was all in vain
And all I could do was watch
As this tiny sliver of time slowly slipped away from my hands.
The clouds descended once again
And covered your pretty face
A familiar sense of discomfort seeped in
I was back in the haze.
But something felt different,
The clouds seemed less dense; Not as dark
A dim light from the sky, pierced through the clouds.
And even in my despair, I felt warm within.
I looked across the room
And watched you…glisten in all your splendor.
And I longed.
Longed for that brief moment
When time stood still for us
Longed to float again
Longed to be free again
And to look to my side
To find you besides me.
